


Warmth (Always Yours)

by winterlogic



Category: Natsume Yuujinchou | Natsume's Book of Friends
Genre: Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Sharing a Bed, These Boys are Whipped, touch starved?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:21:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22726831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterlogic/pseuds/winterlogic
Summary: It was like suddenly waking from dream… or perhaps falling deeply into one, Kaname wasn’t sure.All he knew was that the Natsume standing before him- the one with the sun glinting gold through his hair, face tilted serenely into the warmth and the wind dancing gleefully about him, stirring his clothes and cooling his skin- was beautiful.
Relationships: Natsume Takashi/Tanuma Kaname
Comments: 12
Kudos: 151





	Warmth (Always Yours)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back ;)

It was like suddenly waking from dream… or perhaps falling deeply into one, Kaname wasn’t sure. All he knew was that the Natsume standing before him- the one with the sun glinting gold through his hair, face tilted serenely into the warmth and the wind dancing gleefully about him, stirring his clothes and cooling his skin- was beautiful. No, more than that. Exquisite. Breathtaking in a way he’d never noticed before.

The desire to touch surged through Kaname. To simply brush his knuckles over Natsume’s cheekbone or tuck bright hair behind his ear. He was certain Natsume would be warm. But that- that was something over the line, something almost certain to ruin their precious friendship. So Kaname clenched his hands in his shirt, and forcefully averted his eyes from the sight. If he looked any longer, he didn’t think he would be able to restrain himself.

All those thoughts seemed to take an age to process, but in reality it only a few seconds at most. And yet, Kaname realized with a sinking feeling, even when that single, sparkling moment had passed and the sun had faded behind a flurry of clouds, nothing had changed. 

When Natsume turned his face from the sky and towards Kaname, calling out, “What are you doing so far over there Tanuma?” in that gentle laugh and waving a beckoning hand, Kaname knew.

Knew with all the certainty of the sun’s rising and the earth’s turning that he could no longer go back to the feelings he’d had before. He was in love.

\--~~--

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Takashi had known these feelings were coming. He wasn’t quite sure when they’d started exactly. Maybe it had been that first meeting by the window, seeing a flash of dark eyes under darker hair as they’d looked for shadows that shouldn’t exist, or maybe it had been in the terror of watching Tanuma’s still face during the mirror youkai’s stay. Or perhaps it had been somewhere in between, amongst their breaks at school and occasional trips to the convenience store for snacks. There was no way to be sure.

Really, Takashi decided; the only truly important thing was the feelings themselves- and the disaster they were making of his life. Those feelings liked to creep up on him at the worst and most insignificant times. Sometimes Takashi would be studying with the whole group at school, immersed in a book until hearing Tanuma’s snort of laughter at a joke Nishimura just told, or glancing up to see Kitamoto sprinkle bits of scrap paper in Tanuma’s hair, Tanuma’s face scrunched up but amused all the same. 

They were such innocuous, unromantic moments- but Takashi’s heart would still skip a beat and thoughts of _how cute_ would flow into his mind before he could check them. It was getting to the point where it was difficult to be around Tanuma at all, it was so hard to restrain himself. Takashi was attuned to every breath now, every footstep and cough and gesture.

It _hurt_ not to touch. Takashi wanted nothing more than to just lean against Tanuma’s solid back in moments of quiet or latch their hands together when one of them was anxious. He wanted every arm brush and shoulder pillow, all the casual little things that they came so close to doing whenever they were together.

But of all the things Takashi had failed at over the years, he was going to make absolutely sure this was one thing he wouldn’t mess up. As hard as not being able to touch was, Takashi couldn’t imagine his world without Tanuma in it at all- which would certainly happen if he tried to cross that line.

So he stayed quiet. He relished the time he could spend in Tanuma’s company, and curled up his fingers and tucked in his elbows whenever the desire for skin-on-skin burned through him. He wouldn’t let this stupid love ruin the friendship they had.

\--~~--

Rain was thundering down on the roof and against the walls outside. The soft orange glow of the low night light illuminated the room just enough for Kaname to make out Natsume’s sleep-soft features. The sleepover hadn’t been planned, exactly. Kaname had only intended to study for a few hours with Natsume- a decision that he’d soon realized was a mistake. He’d found himself hyperaware of Natsume’s every movement, unable to focus on his work in favor of trying to map all of Natsume’s movements in inconspicuous glances.

It was like a switch had been flipped that day, standing in a sunny field on the way back from school. Was this really what love was like? How did anyone get anything done when it was impossible to tear their attention away from the allure of their partner? Kaname almost regretted it. Almost. But then he would catch the little crease the formed between Natsume’s brows when he was in thought or the faint half-smiles Natsume offered to apparently empty corners and Kaname would fall all over again.

He’d somehow made it through those torturous hours with Natsume though, only for the rain and storm to begin in earnest just before Natsume could step out the door. The offer to stay had flown past Kaname’s lips before he even realized what he was saying, but by that time Natsume was already nodding.

One short phone call to Fujiwara-san later and Kaname had nothing left to do but start laying out the futons. Thanks to all the snacks they’d munched on throughout their study session, they both decided they didn’t need dinner and had just gone to bed.

Now, lying not even a foot away from Natsume, Kaname felt the ever-present urge to touch bubbling up once again. 

Only this time, he could. 

Kaname wrestled with himself for minutes. He shouldn’t. But in the end, his temptation won out. Hesitantly (guiltily), he reached out and combed his fingers through Natsume’s sugar brown hair. It was softer than he’d imagined, strands loose and fine. He closed his eyes and rubbed a lock of it between his fingers, committing the sensation to memory. When he opened his eyes again, it was to meet Natsume’s blinking open. 

Startled, Kaname yanked his hand back. Oh god, he hadn’t realized Natsume was still awake.

“Tanuma?” Natsume said slowly, voice rasping with sleep. “What… what are you doing?”

“I’m so sorry Natsume,” Kaname rushed to apologize. Maybe it wasn’t too late yet. “I just… got curious I guess. I promise it won’t happen again. I’m sorry.”

Natsume blinked sleepily at him. “No, it’s okay,”

Cool relief trickled through Kaname’s body. Maybe it would be a little awkward for a while, but he hadn’t ruined their friendship.

“Actually,” Natsume continued, cutting into his thoughts, “it felt… nice.”

Kaname was pretty sure every single useful function in his body had ground to a halt. The only thing left was the cursed need to pull Natsume close and the karmic memory of Natsume’s soft hair between his fingers.

“O-oh.”

Natsume only hummed quietly and curled a little further into a ball under his blanket.

“Then…” Tanume started a little breathlessly, not even daring to hope. “Is it okay if I continue?”

Natsume scooting closer to him and tilting his head forward was the all the answer Kaname needed, and with a shaking hand he resumed his rhythmic combing. His palm was tingling with warmth and _Natsume_ , and Kaname sincerely could not believe this was happening. In all honesty, he wasn’t sure if Natsume was fully in his right mind, because Kaname had never seen his usually very reserved friend like this before. But even couldn’t bring himself to pass this opportunity up, he still had to check one last time.

“Natsume, you’re sure this is okay? I don’t want you to regret this when you’re properly awake.” Kaname murmured into the hushed air.

A long second passed before Natsume’s eyes opened again, this time fully, his amber irises clear and almost glowing in the dark. Kaname got the sudden feeling that Natsume was blushing even if he couldn’t see it.

“I promise it’s better than okay,” Natsume whispered “as long as it’s alright with you too.”

The blanket was covering the lower half of Natsume’s face, but Kaname could still see his eyes crinkle up.

“…Can I… move a little closer?” Kaname managed to ask.

“Yes,” Natsume said, eyes now drooping sleepily once again. Flecks of gold were still glinting in the visible sliver.

Tentatively, Kaname pulled their futons together and lifted Natsume’s blanket to wrap his arms around him. Natsume sighed and tucked his nose into Kaname’s collarbone, and Kaname was really about to have a heart attack right then and there, and it would be all Natsume’s fault.

It was peaceful, Kaname decided, and impossibly natural to be together like that, with the rain steadily pounding away in the background. As the minutes slipped by with their bodies flush against each other and a pleasantly warm buzz emanating from every point of contact, Kaname found himself becoming drowsy in spite of his attempts to stay conscious. 

It was so easy to simply drop a tiny kiss on the tip of Natsume’s earlobe and fall asleep to the shiver that slipped through Natsume’s body.

\--~~--

When Takashi woke, it was to a cacophony of birds and Tanuma’s limbs draped comfortably over him. A burst of panic sent his heart briefly thundering before he remembered what had happened last night. Of course, his heart then began pounding for an entirely different reason. Takashi was sure his entire face was red.

There was no way Tanuma didn’t have at least _some_ of the same feelings as Takashi did for him, right? Or else he wouldn’t have reciprocated last night, Natsume tried to reassure himself. The little pit of anxiety in his stomach did not let up even a little.

Takashi jolted as Tanuma’s sudden groan and sleepy snuffle broke through the muffled peace of the room.

When Tanuma cracked open tear-glossed eyes under his tangled fringe of hair, Takashi had never been more in love.

“…Good morning,” Takashi breathed.

Tanuma only stared at him for a long, disconcerting moment before a softly delighted smile broke over his face. “Good morning.”

Takashi swiftly averted his whole face from Tanuma’s brightness, but Tanuma’s hand followed him down, gently running his knuckles down the side of Takashi’s face.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while now,” he grinned.

“R-right,” Takashi stammered out. He tried to hide his definitely red face a little more.

“Hey, don’t worry,” Tanuma said. He carefully laced his fingers with Takashi’s, a flush rising high on his own cheeks. “I’m not leaving anytime soon.”

Takashi squeaked embarrassingly and bumped his head against Tanuma’s chest. It took an effort to not leap up out of bed when Tanuma’s dropped his nose against Takashi’s hair. They laid there for a while just breathing in the other’s scent and calming down.

It wasn’t until the clatter of a door down the hall signaled Tanuma Sr.’s rising that the two forced themselves out of bed.

“I know dad bought some fish yesterday morning…” Tanuma said as he rummaged through his dresser for some fresh clothes. “How does that sound for breakfast, Natsume?”

“…Takashi.” He said, surprising even himself. “Call… you can call me Takashi.” He braced for the response.

Only to look up and find Tanuma staring at him with bright eyes, a blush again staining his cheeks. “Then… then you should call me Kaname too… Takashi.”

“Oh,” Natsume said, looking down at his feet. It really was a day of embarrassing blushes, wasn’t it? “Well, fish sounds good… Kaname.”

A beat of silence. Then they broke out in unrestrained laugher, with Tanuma- no, Kaname’s! undignified snorts mixing with Takashi’s own breathy gasps.

“I don’t know if we can do it,” Kaname managed to huff out.

Takashi could only slump helplessly against Kaname’s shoulder as they both hit the ground, sides aching with laughter.

\--~~--

That was how Kaname’s father found them, splayed out on the ground, choking down the last of their giggles, tip of their fingers just barely intertwined.

He gave them a bemused look. “If you boys are alright, I have breakfast already on the table.”

“Sorry dad, we’re- we’re coming,” Kaname apologized through his still-broad grin as he helped pull Takashi to his feet.

As they walked, Takashi found himself bumping comfortably against Kaname’s arm every few steps. It was a solid anchor in what was bound to be a storm of uncertainty ahead. The two of them still had a lot of things to work out. But for now… Natsume decided as Kaname brushed warm finger tips over the back of his neck when they sat- he could get used to this.

  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading my self-indulgent fluff! Coincidentally the repost lined up just right with Valentine's Day, whaddya know?


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